


Instances of Correlation

by usbt



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Drabble Series, F/M, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, idk where this is going, rey rebuilt her saber, two month timeskip from tlj
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-05 19:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14625066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usbt/pseuds/usbt
Summary: Two months after the events on the Supremacy, Rey and Ben find themselves thrust together by the Force once again.





	1. First Beginning

It’s two months later that the bond opens again. Rey can suddenly feel it, like a heavy vacuum in the edges of her mind, a presence that weighs on her soul. It burns in the back of her throat and stings the corners of her eyes as she’s forced to remember.  _ You aren’t alone _ .  _ I want you to join me. Not to me. _

 

She tries to shove it down, shove it back into that space in her head, but it bubbles in her heart like bittersweet acid, eating away at her resolve. She doesn’t hate Ben, but she hates Kylo.  _ You are nothing. I will destroy her. _ And though she tries, she cannot hate how she understands him. How she longs for his understanding in return. Because he  _ did _ , he did understand, and for once she wants them to be two lonely people finding comfort in one another, instead of enemies at each other’s throats. She doesn’t call him exactly, but he comes all the same.

 

She is sitting on her bed, eyes closed, trying to meditate, when she hears him. “ _ Rey _ .”

 

Her eyes open but she doesn’t look up, her mouth twists into a grimace, pained and sad.

 

“Are you Kylo or are you Ben.” For a moment there’s no response, and she can feel his trepidation as her words dissolve between them.

 

“ _ I have always been Kylo Ren _ .” Oh,  _ this _ makes her angry, this gets a reaction. She stands suddenly, and with a snarl.

 

“That’s  _ not true _ , I knew you as Ben,  _ you were Ben _ !”  _ To me. You were always ever Ben to me. _ She looks him in his dark eyes now, and sees the pain, the anger, the loss. And now he’s angry with her too.

 

“You  _ knew _ Kylo Ren, you wished you were seeing Ben, so you  _ deceived yourself _ !” He’s nearly screaming by the end of his sentence, and she knows he doesn’t mean  _ knew _ when he says it like that, he means- “ _ You wanted Kylo Ren _ , admit it!” He strides forward to her and the backs of her knees hit the bed, her hand comes up between them, against his chest, and she hisses,

 

“I would never feel  _ anything _ for a monster.” She knows he senses the lie when his full lips twist in a cruel grin. His hand comes up to lay a bare inch from her cheek, and she  _ seeths _ .

 

“Yes, you would. You  _ do _ ,” He dares to come closer, “ _ Say it _ .”

 

And it’s because she almost does, almost gives in that she summons her repaired lightsaber to her hand and screams, slashing the illusion of Kylo away, feeling the dark laughter that masks his pain as he retreats.


	2. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rey is jchillin with her friends

 

The next time it happens,  it’s a week later and Rey is with her friends. 

 

Poe Dameron is new to her, but he is joyful and rambunctious, a bit flirty, but never uncomfortably so. Finn is still Finn, and still as kind and bright as before. Rose is another addition she is happy to receive into her small group of friends. The accounts of Finn and Rose’s adventures saturate their time as a group with much-needed laughter- Poe’s commentary adding to the warm atmosphere. When they tell stories, Rey, however, remains silent, giving only the barest details of her time on Ahch-To.

 

In their company she can forget the pain and loss of the events on board the Supremacy. The quiet hope and tentative intimacy of her and Ben and the fire between them. Most of all she can forget the bond opening again, Ben’s-  _ Kylo’s _ body so close to hers. The harsh agony of his voice and the low timbre of his longing. And her own.

 

When a familiar shadow materializes just feet behind Finn while he’s recounting the wild fathier race through the city of Canto Bight, Rey chokes on the water she was in the middle of swallowing. Her friends pause in concern before she assures them she’s fine, and then they relax into friendly mockery while Rey tries not to look at Kylo Ren only a few feet away. Predictably, he refuses to be ignored.

 

“Who are you with.” Rey, of course, says nothing because talking to a wall would be rather concerning to her friends. She grits her teeth as Kylo paces, watching her. Rey tries to focus on the conversation instead.

 

“Rey!” Poe slaps her back affectionately and remarks, “Finn’s told me you’re a great pilot, maybe we could race sometime, yeah?” Rey smiles, eager for a distraction.

 

“Sure! As soon as I have time, I’m up for a race.” 

 

Finn and Rose begin arguing about who will win, and Poe jumps in, discussing the possibility of using the Force to cheat. Rey is happy to let them talk, and watches. Kylo, meanwhile has situated himself behind her seated position. She stiffens as she feels the hum of his power directly behind her. 

 

“You’re speaking to a pilot. Is it Poe Dameron?” Kylo’s voice takes on gently mocking tone, familiar to her from the interrogation room. Rey curses his intuition, and stays silent as he continues, “He won’t be racing you anytime soon, after all, I destroyed his X-wing.” Now he sounds petulantly smug, and it’s all Rey can do not to snort at his ridiculous bragging.

 

“You don’t need them, Rey, in the end they will betray you.” He sounds more sincere, almost sad, and Rey can tell that Kylo is being genuine, but her hands still close into fists beneath the table.

 

“I have something I need to take care of.” Is her excuse, and with a few goodbyes and goodnights, she’s gone and on her way to her room.

 

He follows her there and she has to wonder what part of his ship he’s on so that he can trail after her like this. The door clicks shut behind them and Rey turns, hands crossed over her chest, glowering silently at Kylo, the same way she looked at him when he was kneeling before her. Disappointment and deep, aching sorrow. For a moment both of them are quiet.

 

“You need to back off while I’m talking to my friends.” Rey breaks the silence and Kylo instantly bristles. 

 

“I don’t  _ need _ to do anything, Rey.” his dark eyes are glittering with something between desperation and rage. She tries not to shudder when he says her name. “How much do your  _ friends _ know of you?” Kylo strides forward, suddenly towering over her, body curling down to hers, pulled in by her gravity. “What would they think if they knew you were so  _ intimately connected _ to their enemy?” Every word rushes out of him, sharp and abrupt, jagged like the glass she feels in her lungs when she thinks of Poe and Rose’s faces if they knew. Of Finn’s face. Standing here talking to the Supreme Leader of the First Order, as if he wouldn’t kill them as soon as look at them. Somewhere, deep and bitter, she disgusts herself. Because their connection  _ is _ intimate, something she shouldn’t feel with a man meant to be her enemy.

 

“You overestimate your importance to me, Kylo Ren.” Rey watches him flinch, wrapping his darkness around himself as a shield, sees the man who isn’t her enemy retreat into himself. She needs to hurt him like this, needs to use that name. Desperate for distance in a way that is foreign to her, Rey backs away from the man she will never think of as Kylo Ren. He straightens himself in a shuddered uncurling of his spine, and Rey understands why he wore a mask when she notices his full lips trembling ever so slightly. Ben’s emotions are always written across his face. Her gaze lingers on his lips as he blinks out of existence. Rey sits down on her small bed and puts her head in her hands. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is a drabble series ive had going on on tumblr. there are two chapters currently written. I'll try to update once a week. Chapters will most likely be short and sweet :)


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